Failure is amazing. Failures are what make life interesting. Failure is a driving force people use to keep motivated (or rather the fear of failure).
The best part about failure though is you can see a person's true self at these times of need. When faced with failure, men who act big and tough reveal to the world that they are far from it. People who put on various faces and give the world false perspectives of themselves have their true colors shown.
What should you do about failure?
This is what I propose:
Most of the time failure isn't really failure; it's just a really tough challenge you have to overcome. If you are willing, there are many solutions that can and will bring you away from the prospects of failing. As my professor Babs always said, "Think entrepreneurially." You have to be creative and think outside the box. There will be a solution. This is what separates the weak people who give up at challenges from the dedicated motivated ones who refuse to give up.
(note: there is a fine line between being dedicated and being stubborn. Don't be stubborn. You'll look foolish and won't be liked. People might tell you to go home.)
So what if the situation is actually one that you can't work around and failure is inevitable?
First of all, take accountability. Then embrace it. Love it. Cherish it. You learn so much more from failing than from succeeding. If you've messed everything you've ever done in life, great news. If you are smart enough to learn from your failures, you won't make them anymore. (Granted if you aren't smart enough to learn from past failures, there's not much I can really say or do for you...) If you aren't willing to take accountability, you definitely won't be willing to try and learn from your mistakes either. Anyways, eventually you'll have failed so many times you can't fail anymore and everything you do will be a success!
Don't be weak. And don't whine about it or find excuses. No one likes a weak excuse-finding whiner.
EB
3 comments:
That's awesome that you're into entrepreneurship now. I currently intern at a VC firm and I really admire entrepreneurship now. Of course I'm getting confirmation bias, but running a business sounds rewarding. Are you going to be interning at a tech start-up or a VC in Silicon Valley?
Btw, I know failure so well :-P I like to think I learn from my failures but they always keep cropping up; go figures.
I think you're being too harsh on "excuse-finding" and "whining" though. People deal with failures differently and not everyone can just accept failure. Some people need to vent to cope, and that's perfectly fine. It can be annoying to the person who has to listen, but that is what some people need to do, and it doesn't necessarily make them weak.
Also, most people's successes are based largely on luck so to take full accountability would be unfair. We often look back at success cases to figure out why they were successful, but we fail to look at similar cases that resulted in failure. This is probably the biggest flaw in the case studies that business schools love to use.
I think the real issue is just not being afraid of failure and to seize every opportunity you get. I was talking to this guy at the VC firm I work at last Friday and he believes his current success is based mostly on luck. However he made sure to recognize the opportunities that life gave him and ran with it. Fear of failure in this case is the biggest impediment on seizing the lucky opportunities life gives you. You have to take risks in life to gain.
Last week our professor brought in a panel consisting of a VC, someone from an idea incubator, and an angel investor for us to pitch business plans at. They tore everyone up and it was glorious; I might write about it later. I'll be at a tech start-up; what I'm craving most right now in my life is that opportunity to get down and dirty. I'm sick of those internships where the only thing you learn is the schedule at which your boss comes to check up on you.
I definitely agree that venting is okay, because people do need to release their feelings every now and then. Heck, this post was basically borderline venting.
After a semester of working with sub-par groups, I was/am sick of people not being accountable for their actions (or in some cases lack thereof). There are some people who try and find ways to weasel out of the situation rather than stepping up and accepting responsibility and the consequences for their actions. My point about weak people are that those people tend to find excuses rather than step up; it tends to be a never-ending cycle as they always have a reason for this and that and they never learn.
I also agree that most successes have are largely based on luck in the form of a perfect storm. However, just as taking full accountability for a lucky situation isn't fair, not taking accountability for failure is equally unfair. Generally speaking, people praise themselves for successes but tend to have an external locus of control when it comes to failure. Of course this doesn't cover all cases, but I feel it's most likely true for most individuals and I guess my comments would be targeted to those individuals.
Last, I also agree with the biggest issue most people face is their fear of failure itself. As I said in my post on Leaders vs. Managers, most managers fear failure and thus are too scared to challenge the status quo and take risks. They tend to take the safe route out and avoid decisions that might not work. What I do want to note though is its not just about taking risks; smart individuals will take calculated risks to minimize their chances of failure.
Like in poker, you can minimize your risk and increase your odds of success by not chasing that 4-outer after the turn or playing low pocket pairs in a raised pot with multiple other players while hoping to get lucky. Yeah, mid-suited connectors can crack pocket aces heads up, but it's usually better to fold and wait for another hand where their perceived calculated risk of failure is lower.
Ah your semester was plagued by working with a subpar group of people? Hahaha and I thought I was the only one :-P Well its a good learning experience on how to deal with people - a soft skill that has a lot of value but isn't easily taught. To figure out how to motivate people to work to the same high standards you uphold yourself to is pretty difficult.
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